Then there's this whole religion thing

So I think it's great that I feel so close to God when I go to youth group. And the day after that. And maybe the day after that. But after that, I don't know. I forget to pray. I don't evaluate everything I do to make sure I'm not sinning. I just stop. I don't know if its me, or if I just wasn't meant to be a Christian, or what. Because there's all these other religions out there I've never experienced, like, what if I want to be enlightened? Or like the idea of fasting or the Mecca? Or what if I think twelve gods live up on a very climbable named Mount Olympus and no one ever bothered to check?
But then there's the fact that, excuse my cheesiness, I feel in my heart that there is a God. I just don't know if I want to worship him or not. Because what kind of God damns his creations to hell that he loves so much? I can't imagine that. And my immediate family, who are all Christians by the by, try to explain it to me, "God loves everyone but if we don't accept him into our hearts he can't admit us into heaven" and I'm like, "YES he can he can do anything why are you pretending this is not what he CHOOSES to do?" And they try to convince me I'm wrong and, hell, maybe I am but I cannot find the logic in that. Because excuse me, in the cases of the people I love, I'd rather damn myself to hell than to damn them. And I guess what's what Jesus did. But not really. Because he just gave us a CHANCE to un-damn ourselves, which is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. But do I really want to go to Heaven while my best friend doesn't because she's not Christian? She hasn't had the exposure I have. Or the experiences. And I'm not going to convert her or anything because, hey, I don't know WHAT them mess I am. But if she dies tomorrow, that's it? Bye bye? I hate that.
And then there's the whole thing of some Christians being really hateful. Like, excuse me sir, take down that sign and let those homosexuals be married. Why not instead go home and eat a cheeseburger, swimming in grease! Or the really loving ones, who seem really fake to me. Always smiling and having bake sales and are seriously always wearing a pastel-color dress like whats up with that? I know the Amish girls always have to wear dresses but what are you doing?
I don't know, anyone out there, please explain this to me because this is ridiculous on a number of levels.