last post!! yay!!!

I'm ending this good awful blog, once and for all. I hate it. Almost as much as I hate leaving the house. I broke up with the boyfriend as well. I have my reasons, mostly just the fact that I'm tired. IF I COULD JUST GATHER UP THE NERVE TO END IT ALREADY MY LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER because it'd be over. Finally.
Don't follow me.

Ed Sheeran- Thinking Out Loud

When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And I will be loving you until we're seventy
And my heart could still fall as hard at twenty three
And I'm thinking about how
People fall in love is mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Me, I fall in love with you every single day
And I just want to tell you I am

So, honey, now take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your hand on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair's all gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause, honey, your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking about how
People fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

But, baby, now take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your hand on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

So, baby, now take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your hand on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

Oh baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

Straight up though

So I'm babysitting right and the tiny little ones are asleep so I'm basically just waiting for their parents to get home which is all good I'm glad they can go to their concert thing but I'm super bored even though

• They have two cats and about an hour ago I discovered I am very allergic to cats like, who knew
• I have chatting with "the bae" to look forward to but honest to goodness I get super uncontrollably overanalyze-y and insecure when I don't talk to him for a couple of days and it's a super huge problem
• I have my phone which means I can text my people but nah

So yeah I stand by my previous posts meaning suicide is still a very viable option I'm thinking about. I do love how it sounds so calm on paper but in my head it is kind of like, in fifty different fonts and sizes and screaming and whispering and normal talking all at once. It's a fun time.

I'm done

You know, I'm actually really mad at you. When you said that you didn't feel those emotions, you didn't mean it. I don't know why the hell you thought you could fake your indifference. But whatever. I'm just going to have to wait for you to figure out that I'm incapable of that feeling. Like I've been saying. God, I thought you knew that when you were walking into this.I can barely talk to you without being so mad I can't even speak because now I have to break a heart because YOU lied

Explanation

No, girls are never satisfied. Want to know why? Because we spend all our time changing the person we supposedly "fell for" because we want to end up with a Prince Charming. So all of our time is spent being unhappy because all our changes aren't working but we don't want to admit to anyone, much less ourselves that we want out significant other to change in the first place. Don't worry, the joke is on us in the end, because fairytales aren't real.

Alex Clare- Too Close

You know I'm not one to break promises
I don't want to hurt you but I need to breathe
At the end of it all you're still my best friend
But there's something inside that I need to release

Which way is right, which way is wrong?
How do I say that I need to move on?
You know we're heading separate ways

C: And it feels like I am just too close to love you
There's nothing I can really say
I can lie no more, I can hide no more
Got to be true to myself
And it feels like I am just too close to love you
So I'll be on my way

You've given me more than I can return
Yet there's oh so much that you deserve
Nothing to say, nothing to do
I've nothing at all, I must live without you
You know we're heading separate ways

C

It feels like I am just too close to love you
So I'll be on my way