All this talk about being in love, I could never get into the party
Never really understood what it was, like what's the deal anyway
But I decided I should give it a try, the very moment that you gave me the invite
I've never seen anything like it before, once you open the door
See, I was like
C: Oh, yeah, yeah, don't get any better
Oh, yeah, yeah, wish that this was forever
Your heart calling, feels like confetti falling
And it's a celebration, feels like a celebration
'Cause your heart calling, feels like confetti falling down
And everybody's gonna make an appearance, even the butterflies came, what a feeling
And then the bliss that came with Mr. First-Kiss, it was better than they ever explained
I think I even saw Cupid flying around, I caught a glimpse before the lights went down
And when I turn to see the stars in your eyes, I realize
And I as like
C
See, I know it's getting late, only wish the sun would wait
And let this party last a little longer, see I know love comes and goes
But this right here, I don't think I ever wanna let it go
I wish I would've known
All this talk about being in love, I could never get into the party
Now I understand only because
You show me the way
And I was like
C
Your heart calling, feels like confetti calling
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Degrassi- Everything So Right
You are the sun, the moon in the night
You are my everything, everything so right
I don't need another summer, another spring, another fall
Now I have you, don't need anything at all
For your love, I give up my name
Give up my world, 'cause you are the flame
That burns in my heart and makes life complete
A rose by another name, a smell just as sweet
You are the sun, the moon in the night
You are my everything, everything so right
don't need another summer, another spring, another fall
Now I have you, don't need anything at all
It won't take another summer,
Another spring, another fall
Now I have you,
Don't need anything at all
You are the sun, the moon in the night
You are my everything (This isn't right) everything so right
(Please hurry) It won't take another summer, another spring, another fall
(A moment longer) Now I have you
(Don't leave this time) Don't need anything at all
You are my everything, everything so right
I don't need another summer, another spring, another fall
Now I have you, don't need anything at all
For your love, I give up my name
Give up my world, 'cause you are the flame
That burns in my heart and makes life complete
A rose by another name, a smell just as sweet
You are the sun, the moon in the night
You are my everything, everything so right
don't need another summer, another spring, another fall
Now I have you, don't need anything at all
It won't take another summer,
Another spring, another fall
Now I have you,
Don't need anything at all
You are the sun, the moon in the night
You are my everything (This isn't right) everything so right
(Please hurry) It won't take another summer, another spring, another fall
(A moment longer) Now I have you
(Don't leave this time) Don't need anything at all
Matchbox 20- Bed of Lies
No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am
Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be lonely
Don't think I could take another talk about it
Just like you got needs, and they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender, to these lives that we've tendered away
No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me, and I gave until it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made
No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am
I am all that I'll ever be when you
Lay your hands over me but don't go weak on me now
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this
I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am
Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be lonely
Don't think I could take another talk about it
Just like you got needs, and they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender, to these lives that we've tendered away
No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me, and I gave until it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made
No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am
I am all that I'll ever be when you
Lay your hands over me but don't go weak on me now
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this
I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am
Friday, May 30, 2014
You feel me?
Okay so pretty much all of my last few posts have been song lyrics or about relationships like, the romantic kind and this thing I thought of isn't about any one relationship I have with anyone it's just all as a whole, how I feel about all of my close peoples,
All this time I've been thinking about how unlucky you are to have me, when I should have been thinking about how lucky I am to I have you.
All this time I've been thinking about how unlucky you are to have me, when I should have been thinking about how lucky I am to I have you.
Pochahontas- Just Around the Riverbend
What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing always flowing
But people, I guess, can't live like that they all must pay a price
To be safe we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the river bend?
Waiting just around the river bend
I look once more, just around the river bend
Beyond the shore, where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for
What I dream the day might send just around the river bend
For me, coming for me
I feel it there beyond the trees
Or right behind these waterfalls
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming?
For a handsome sturdy husband who builds handsome sturdy walls
And never dreams that something might be coming
Just around the river bend
Just around the river bend
I look once more just around the river bend
Beyond the shore, somewhere past the sea
Don't know what for
Why do all my dreams extend just around the river bend
Just around the river bend
Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum?
Is all my dreaming at and end?
Or do you still wait for me, dream giver?
Just around the river bend
The water's always changing always flowing
But people, I guess, can't live like that they all must pay a price
To be safe we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the river bend?
Waiting just around the river bend
I look once more, just around the river bend
Beyond the shore, where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for
What I dream the day might send just around the river bend
For me, coming for me
I feel it there beyond the trees
Or right behind these waterfalls
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming?
For a handsome sturdy husband who builds handsome sturdy walls
And never dreams that something might be coming
Just around the river bend
Just around the river bend
I look once more just around the river bend
Beyond the shore, somewhere past the sea
Don't know what for
Why do all my dreams extend just around the river bend
Just around the river bend
Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum?
Is all my dreaming at and end?
Or do you still wait for me, dream giver?
Just around the river bend
Wicked- As Long as You're Mine
Elphaba: Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight
I need help believing you're with me tonight
My wildest dreams could not foresee
Lying beside you with you wanting me
Just for this moment, as long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance and crossed some borderline
And if it turns out it's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine
Fiyero: Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling it's up that I fell
Both: Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time
Fiyero: Say there's no future for us as a pair...
Both: And though I may know, I don't care
Just for this moment, as long as you're mine
Come see how bright we shine, borrow the moonlight
Until it is through and know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine
Fiyero: What is it?
Elphaba: It's just, for the first time, I feel wicked
I need help believing you're with me tonight
My wildest dreams could not foresee
Lying beside you with you wanting me
Just for this moment, as long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance and crossed some borderline
And if it turns out it's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine
Fiyero: Maybe I'm brainless, maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling it's up that I fell
Both: Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time
Fiyero: Say there's no future for us as a pair...
Both: And though I may know, I don't care
Just for this moment, as long as you're mine
Come see how bright we shine, borrow the moonlight
Until it is through and know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine
Fiyero: What is it?
Elphaba: It's just, for the first time, I feel wicked
Bruno Mars- When I Was Your Man
Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio just doesn't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little whenever I hear your name
It all just sounds like, ooooh, too young to dumb to realize
That I should've bought your flowers, and held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing with another man
My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like, ooooh, too young to dumb to realize
Our song on the radio just doesn't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little whenever I hear your name
It all just sounds like, ooooh, too young to dumb to realize
That I should've bought your flowers, and held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing with another man
My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like, ooooh, too young to dumb to realize
That I should've bought your flowers, and held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing with another man
Although it hurts, I'll be the first to say I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want to let you know
I hope he buys you flowers, and holds your hand
Gives you all his hours when he has the chance
Takes you to every party 'cause I remember how much you loved to dance
All the things I should've done when I was your man
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Ready? Okay.
Of all the terrible things that have happened in my life - my mom, my dad, the life I lost - I'm such a vain, selfish, and petty person that I am most ashamed of the fact that nobody has ever kissed me.
This thought drives me to more than the desire for a lobotomy. This drives me to something worse.
Yo, Rapunzel, forget the ladder. There's a faster way down.
This thought drives me to more than the desire for a lobotomy. This drives me to something worse.
Yo, Rapunzel, forget the ladder. There's a faster way down.
Fearless - Francine Pascal
My moods vary between;
- Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life.
- Some days I want to scream with the wonders of life, the slice of the blue sky, a small brown bird's chirp goodbye. But some lone, long nights, I want nothing but to curl beneath the blanket, close my eyes, and die.
- I will always care for you, even if we're not together, or if we're far, far away from each other.
- Being left alone, with my mind, is actually quite dangerous.
- The question is, whether suicide is the way out or the way in
- Be strong because things will get better, it might be stormy now but it can't rain forever
Idina Menzel- No Good Deed
Let his flesh not be torn, let his blood leave no stain
When they beat him let him feel to pain
Let his bones never break and however they try to destroy him
Let him never die, let him never die
What good is this chanting, I don't even know what I'm reading
I don't even know what trick I ought to try
Fiyero where are you, already dead or bleeding
One more disaster I can add to my generous supply
No good deed goes unpunished, no act of charity goes unresented
No good deed goes unpunished, that's my new creed
My road of good intentions led where such roads always lead
No good dead goes unpunished
Nessa, Doctor Dilamond, Fiyero
Fiyero
One question haunts and hurts, too much, too much to mention
Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention
Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are then maybe that's the reason why
No good deed goes unpunished, all helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished, sure I meant well
Well, look at what well-meant did
Well maybe not, so be it, so be it then
Let all Oz be agreed, I'm wicked through and through since I cannot succeed
Fiyero saving you I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again
Ever again
No good deed will I do again
When they beat him let him feel to pain
Let his bones never break and however they try to destroy him
Let him never die, let him never die
What good is this chanting, I don't even know what I'm reading
I don't even know what trick I ought to try
Fiyero where are you, already dead or bleeding
One more disaster I can add to my generous supply
No good deed goes unpunished, no act of charity goes unresented
No good deed goes unpunished, that's my new creed
My road of good intentions led where such roads always lead
No good dead goes unpunished
Nessa, Doctor Dilamond, Fiyero
Fiyero
One question haunts and hurts, too much, too much to mention
Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention
Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are then maybe that's the reason why
No good deed goes unpunished, all helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished, sure I meant well
Well, look at what well-meant did
Well maybe not, so be it, so be it then
Let all Oz be agreed, I'm wicked through and through since I cannot succeed
Fiyero saving you I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again
Ever again
No good deed will I do again
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Don't care if you read this or not but
You awesome, beautiful person. You must be extraordinary if you make me look forward to Monday. Keeping my head out of class even when it should be, but I don't care. My sleep schedule is seriously screwed up because of you, but I don't care. It's crazy, because I don't even know when you became important to me. It's like watching a snowstorm. You see the flakes falling, but you don't realize they're adding up. Then suddenly, your whole lawn is covered. All these things have added up. You're kind of like my snowstorm.
Your existence gives me hope
Your existence gives me hope
Sorry if I'm offending anyone
I hate when people are like, "I don't know, I like him but is this a forever thing?"
And I'm like,
You're in HIGH SCHOOL. It could last a few months, or a few weeks, or a few days, or a few years. It really doesn't matter. You're looking for someone to make you happy because Lord knows you need it. You don't need a baby daddy, you don't need a husband, you need a piece of sanity.
Find that person, and you're good.
And I'm like,
You're in HIGH SCHOOL. It could last a few months, or a few weeks, or a few days, or a few years. It really doesn't matter. You're looking for someone to make you happy because Lord knows you need it. You don't need a baby daddy, you don't need a husband, you need a piece of sanity.
Find that person, and you're good.
I need someone who is prepared for:
- A million questions
- Uncontrollable laughter
- My family
- My appetite
- Musical outbursts
- Random dancing
- My friends
- Sad/Happy tears
- Deep talks
- My imagination
- My dreams
- Walks in the rain
- Random texts
- Useless arguments
- and acceptance of the real me
You feel me?
Ah!!! Walls coming down!!! Immediate repairs!!! Evasive Maneuvers!!! Duct tape!!!
Yeah so I shouldn't have shown him the blog. And the Best Girlfriend award goes to...
The chick who confessed her suicidal tendencies after 4 days.
On a completely different note, being an only child SUCKS. My brother is away for a week at this political camp thing. And it's just me at home. And there's this empty place in the house, and at the dinner table, and on the couch. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this when he goes to college next year.
Yeah so I shouldn't have shown him the blog. And the Best Girlfriend award goes to...
The chick who confessed her suicidal tendencies after 4 days.
On a completely different note, being an only child SUCKS. My brother is away for a week at this political camp thing. And it's just me at home. And there's this empty place in the house, and at the dinner table, and on the couch. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this when he goes to college next year.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
#grenades
Sometimes I'm like, "Holy crap I have a boyfriend now this is amazing!" but on the other hand I'm connecting with Hazel Grace on a spiritual level.
Shania Twain- Ka-Ching
We live in a greedy little world that teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly then turn around and spend it foolishly
We've created us a credit card mess, we spend the money that we don't possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all, so it's shopping every Sunday at the mall
All we ever want is more, a lot more than we had before, so take me to the nearest store
C: Can you hear it ring, it makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing, Ka-ching
Lots of diamond rings, the happiness it brings
You'll live like a king with lots of money and things
When you're broke go and get a load
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when you get bored
All we ever want is more, a lot more than we had before, so take me to the nearest store
C
Let's swing, dig deeper in your pocket
Oh yeah, ha, come on I know you've got it
Dig deeper in your wallet
All we ever want is more, a lot more than we had before, so take me to the nearest store
C
Can you hear it ring, it makes you wanna sing
You'll live like a king with lots of money and things
Ka-ching!
To earn as much as they can possibly then turn around and spend it foolishly
We've created us a credit card mess, we spend the money that we don't possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all, so it's shopping every Sunday at the mall
All we ever want is more, a lot more than we had before, so take me to the nearest store
C: Can you hear it ring, it makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing, Ka-ching
Lots of diamond rings, the happiness it brings
You'll live like a king with lots of money and things
When you're broke go and get a load
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when you get bored
All we ever want is more, a lot more than we had before, so take me to the nearest store
C
Let's swing, dig deeper in your pocket
Oh yeah, ha, come on I know you've got it
Dig deeper in your wallet
All we ever want is more, a lot more than we had before, so take me to the nearest store
C
Can you hear it ring, it makes you wanna sing
You'll live like a king with lots of money and things
Ka-ching!
Monday, May 26, 2014
Guardian Angel
Never felt I'd live past sixteen
Hard as I tried I couldn't imagine
I don't know is it just me?
Now you're here and I want to live
I don't know what I'm gonna do about it
Suicide postponed, do I live a little longer
Or just totally forget about it?
Is this a long term thing?
Why were you sent to me?
So close to an Angel, you are
But Heaven never felt so far
Friday, May 23, 2014
Tangled- I See the Light
All those days, watching from the windows
All those years, outside looking in
All that time, never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here, suddenly I see
Standing here, it's oh, so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
And at last I see the light and it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different now that I see you
All those days, chasing down a daydream
All those years, living in a blur
All that time, never truly seeing
Things the way they were
Now she's here, shining in the starlight
Now she's here, suddenly I know
If she's hear, it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go
And at last I see the light and it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright and the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything looks different now that I see you
Now that I see you
All those years, outside looking in
All that time, never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here, suddenly I see
Standing here, it's oh, so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
And at last I see the light and it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different now that I see you
All those days, chasing down a daydream
All those years, living in a blur
All that time, never truly seeing
Things the way they were
Now she's here, shining in the starlight
Now she's here, suddenly I know
If she's hear, it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go
And at last I see the light and it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright and the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything looks different now that I see you
Now that I see you
His existence gives me hope
I feel like you're lying
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop
On the inside I'm crying
Oh, why can't I believe that you might really
Care for me, adore me, like me like I like you
I just wanna believe you're telling the truth
'Cause I wanna be there for you
Last time I failed, broke my heart too fast
This time I'm scared, I'm praying this will last
You say it will, I fear it won't
This will fail despite my hopes
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop
Yes, I wrote this one too. His existence gives me hope but a lot of other complications as well.
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop
On the inside I'm crying
Oh, why can't I believe that you might really
Care for me, adore me, like me like I like you
I just wanna believe you're telling the truth
'Cause I wanna be there for you
Last time I failed, broke my heart too fast
This time I'm scared, I'm praying this will last
You say it will, I fear it won't
This will fail despite my hopes
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop
Yes, I wrote this one too. His existence gives me hope but a lot of other complications as well.
The Nightmare Before Christmas- Jack's Lament
There are few who deny at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have seen grown men give out a shriek
With a wave of my hand and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet
Yet year after year it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing
Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness begins to grow
There's something out there far from my home
A longing that I've never known
I'm a master of fright, a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky
And I'm known throughout England and France
And since I am dead I can take off my head
To recite Shakespearian quotations
No animal nor man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations
But who here could ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could
Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears...
Oh, Jack. I know how you feel
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have seen grown men give out a shriek
With a wave of my hand and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet
Yet year after year it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing
Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness begins to grow
There's something out there far from my home
A longing that I've never known
I'm a master of fright, a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky
And I'm known throughout England and France
And since I am dead I can take off my head
To recite Shakespearian quotations
No animal nor man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations
But who here could ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could
Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears...
Oh, Jack. I know how you feel
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
My passion... I guess?
I absolutely LOVE traveling. With a passion. You'd think growing up in New York introduced me to all kinds of culture and I don't know, maybe it did. There was an Asian lady in my apartment building who spoke Spanish. But not really. I didn't know people actually said "ya'll" in real life until I moved to Arkansas. Except for my aunts and uncles on my mother's side but they all grew up on a farm so I just thought, maybe it's a farm thing! But it's not. And then I went to Jamaica, and I had never had people look at me like I was an abomination before. I had heard it online, sure. But people actually glared at me for being half white and half black which was super weird. But that's how they were raised and I didn't return the glare so whatever. It was interesting to see their perspective from a secondhand point of view and yes, it was annoying, but it was an eye opener.
But back to traveling. I like traditions, delicacies, and dances. I like accents, architecture, and tourist attractions. I don't like reading about them. I don't like learning every single fact about the country. But I like museums and listening to stories of people who grew up somewhere I haven't. I want to go to Japan and China and compare the customs that everyone thinks are the same or similar but they totally aren't. I want to visit India and experience their famous religions firsthand. I'd love to go to Africa and watch every traditional dance that ever existed. I'd love to go to Europe and see the streets made of water, and actually learn how to do a British accent. I want to go to Australia just to see a Kangaroo really. And I wish I can go to every country in South America and try their delicacies because I hear they're delicious.
No, I don't like people. No, I don't like crowds. But I love airports and flying, which is lucky because I could be one of those people who love to travel but hate flying. Or sailing. I love boats. And yachts. Especially yachts. Yachts are fun. But that's my passion. Right there.
But back to traveling. I like traditions, delicacies, and dances. I like accents, architecture, and tourist attractions. I don't like reading about them. I don't like learning every single fact about the country. But I like museums and listening to stories of people who grew up somewhere I haven't. I want to go to Japan and China and compare the customs that everyone thinks are the same or similar but they totally aren't. I want to visit India and experience their famous religions firsthand. I'd love to go to Africa and watch every traditional dance that ever existed. I'd love to go to Europe and see the streets made of water, and actually learn how to do a British accent. I want to go to Australia just to see a Kangaroo really. And I wish I can go to every country in South America and try their delicacies because I hear they're delicious.
No, I don't like people. No, I don't like crowds. But I love airports and flying, which is lucky because I could be one of those people who love to travel but hate flying. Or sailing. I love boats. And yachts. Especially yachts. Yachts are fun. But that's my passion. Right there.
The suckage level is over 10000
Because my uncle's liver cancer is worse. A lot worse. He's in hospice care. Which basically means they're just waiting for him to die. There's nothing else they can do.
I'm gonna look up if 2014 is year of the cancer because if it is, the irony is not lost on me and I will be severely pissed off.
I'm gonna look up if 2014 is year of the cancer because if it is, the irony is not lost on me and I will be severely pissed off.
Avril Lavigne- Let Me Go ft. Chad Kroeger
Love that once hung on the wall
Used to mean something, but now it means nothing
The echos are gone in the hall
But I still remember the pain of December
Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say
I'm sorry it's too late
I'm breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I've said goodbye, set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go
You came back to find I was gone
And that place was empty like the hole that was left in me
Like we were nothing at all
It's not what you meant to me, thought we were meant to be
Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say
I'm sorry it's too late
C
I let it go and now I know
A brand new life is down this road
And when it's right, you always know
So this time I won't let go
There's only one thing left here to say
Love's never too late
C
Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go
Won't let you go, don't let me go
Used to mean something, but now it means nothing
The echos are gone in the hall
But I still remember the pain of December
Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say
I'm sorry it's too late
I'm breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I've said goodbye, set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go
You came back to find I was gone
And that place was empty like the hole that was left in me
Like we were nothing at all
It's not what you meant to me, thought we were meant to be
Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say
I'm sorry it's too late
C
I let it go and now I know
A brand new life is down this road
And when it's right, you always know
So this time I won't let go
There's only one thing left here to say
Love's never too late
C
Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go
Won't let you go, don't let me go
P!NK- Try
Ever wonder about what he's doing and how it all turned to lies
Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why
C: Where there is desire, there is going to be a flame
Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, try, try
You've gotta get up and try, try, try
Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it's not right
C
Ever worry that it might be ruined, and does it make you wanna cry
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by
C
You gotta get up and try, try, try
You gotta get up and try, try, try
Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why
C: Where there is desire, there is going to be a flame
Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, try, try
You've gotta get up and try, try, try
Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it's not right
C
Ever worry that it might be ruined, and does it make you wanna cry
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by
C
You gotta get up and try, try, try
You gotta get up and try, try, try
Imagine Dragons- Hear me
Try to hear my voice
You can leave, now it's your choice
Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right
Maybe if I leave tonight, I won't come back
I said it before I won't say it again
Love is a game to you, it's not pretend
Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right
C: Can nobody hear me?
I've got a lot thats on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it too?
You kiss and you kiss and you love and you love
You got a history list and the rest is above
And if you're warm, then you can't relate to me
From the floor to the floor and the sky to the sky
You've got to love and adore and the rest is awry
And if you're warm, then you can't relate to me
I said it before I won't say it again
Love is a game to you, it's not pretend
Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right
C
Leave your shoes at the door baby
I am all you adore lately
Come with me and we will run away
C
You can leave, now it's your choice
Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right
Maybe if I leave tonight, I won't come back
I said it before I won't say it again
Love is a game to you, it's not pretend
Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right
C: Can nobody hear me?
I've got a lot thats on my mind
I cannot breathe
Can you hear it too?
You kiss and you kiss and you love and you love
You got a history list and the rest is above
And if you're warm, then you can't relate to me
From the floor to the floor and the sky to the sky
You've got to love and adore and the rest is awry
And if you're warm, then you can't relate to me
I said it before I won't say it again
Love is a game to you, it's not pretend
Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right
C
Leave your shoes at the door baby
I am all you adore lately
Come with me and we will run away
C
Imagine Dragons- Demons
When the days are cold, and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail, and the ones we hail
Are the worst of all and the blood's run stale
I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come
C: When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
Don't get too close, it's dark inside
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
No matter what we breed we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come
C
They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright I want to save that light
I can't escape this now unless you show me how
C
At the curtain's call it's the last of all
When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave and the masquerade
Will come calling out at the mess you made
Don't wanna let you down but I am hell bound
Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth
And the saints we see are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail, and the ones we hail
Are the worst of all and the blood's run stale
I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come
C: When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
Don't get too close, it's dark inside
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
No matter what we breed we still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come
C
They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright I want to save that light
I can't escape this now unless you show me how
C
At the curtain's call it's the last of all
When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave and the masquerade
Will come calling out at the mess you made
Don't wanna let you down but I am hell bound
Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth
Imagine Dragons- Curse
She barely knew your name
He was just a city, she's just a dirt road
But that never meant a thing
Running from the country
She needed out but he held that diamond ring
C: 'Cause I can't sit, oh, I can't talk
I gotta leave this town and run to you
Curse these nights that speak your name
I gotta leave this town and come to you
Break this curse, ha ha ha
Break this curse, she barely knew your name
He was such a worry, no need to hurry
Those streets are slick at night
She would never listen, she left it all and headed towards the light
Oh, your eyes look tired, but love was all she knew
Screaming out in agony she gave her life for you
C
He was just a city, she's just a dirt road
But that never meant a thing
Running from the country
She needed out but he held that diamond ring
C: 'Cause I can't sit, oh, I can't talk
I gotta leave this town and run to you
Curse these nights that speak your name
I gotta leave this town and come to you
Break this curse, ha ha ha
Break this curse, she barely knew your name
He was such a worry, no need to hurry
Those streets are slick at night
She would never listen, she left it all and headed towards the light
Oh, your eyes look tired, but love was all she knew
Screaming out in agony she gave her life for you
C
Monday, May 19, 2014
PDA probs
My brother and his girlfriend got scolded by a mall cop for making out too much in public. I wasn't there THANK GOD because EW. *barfing noises* But I thought it was funny when he told me.
Yeah, PDA makes me sick. Like, fine, hold hands. Put your arm around her(though if anyone does that to me we will fight), and give her a peck on the cheek or lips but if you straight up make out in front of me especially if I can HEAR it????? You better hope I have something valuable in my hands 'cause otherwise you're getting it thrown over you. My friends Taylar and David were macking next to me in the theatre when we were watching Spiderman 2 so I grabbed some of her water and flung it on them. I warned them so...
They were being really couple-y up in there. It was ugh. And they are technically not even dating even though they both want to they are seriously both being dramatic and ridiculous like, go on a date by yourselves and if you don't like it, then don't continue, if you do, keep going it's really not that hard a concept to grasp.
But yeah he didn't come even though he was supposed to like I said in a previous post. I texted him afterwards and he was like, "I'm sorry I wasn't there so we too could've acted couple-y" which gave me warm fuzzies but at the same time it didn't because, once again, PDA. Ew.
Yeah, PDA makes me sick. Like, fine, hold hands. Put your arm around her(though if anyone does that to me we will fight), and give her a peck on the cheek or lips but if you straight up make out in front of me especially if I can HEAR it????? You better hope I have something valuable in my hands 'cause otherwise you're getting it thrown over you. My friends Taylar and David were macking next to me in the theatre when we were watching Spiderman 2 so I grabbed some of her water and flung it on them. I warned them so...
They were being really couple-y up in there. It was ugh. And they are technically not even dating even though they both want to they are seriously both being dramatic and ridiculous like, go on a date by yourselves and if you don't like it, then don't continue, if you do, keep going it's really not that hard a concept to grasp.
But yeah he didn't come even though he was supposed to like I said in a previous post. I texted him afterwards and he was like, "I'm sorry I wasn't there so we too could've acted couple-y" which gave me warm fuzzies but at the same time it didn't because, once again, PDA. Ew.
Luther Vandross- Dance with my Father
Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high, and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He's make me laugh just to comfort me
And in the end make me do just what my momma said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he'd be away from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outsider her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much, too much
But could you send back the only man she ever loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord, she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
My father would lift me high, and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He's make me laugh just to comfort me
And in the end make me do just what my momma said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he'd be away from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outsider her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much, too much
But could you send back the only man she ever loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord, she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
P.S. My father is not dead, just hundreds of miles away. And my mother divorced him twice. He divorced her once. But this is still a good song. Go Luther.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
So I'm reading my previous posts...
And yes, going back to youth group did get rid of some of my suicidal thoughts for the time being. But they've come rushing back. I don't think this whole Christian thing is working. It's so confusing. I don't know what to do. When I read the Forever Reign lyrics, it's calming. But then I start to think of why it's not calming. Because it's an amazing song. And I used to love having someone, a.k.a. God, to lean on when something knocked me down. But I don't just want to worship something to lean on. Do you get me? I'm disrespecting him, myself, and everyone who does honestly worship him if I say that I worship him when I only think of him as a backup plan.
Backhouse Mike- Okay ft. Elizabeth Gillies
I like your smile, but even introductions need to last a while
Sometimes I don't know if I'm right or wrong
And in the end it seems like everything is
Worse when you're gone
C: There is no upper hand, I'm giving you mine
It doesn't have to end up wasting your time
There's things that I could say, but hear it my way
I want to let you know that it's all okay
So there you are, mistakenly mistaken for a deeper scar
A hole in your heart, ad the same for me
Is everything you touch keeping you down
Or setting you free
C
Shelter my eyes from the sun
And wait for the birds to fly by
Trying to reach every one
And know what you're feeling inside
Deep in my head now it's like a dream goodbye
C
Sometimes I don't know if I'm right or wrong
And in the end it seems like everything is
Worse when you're gone
C: There is no upper hand, I'm giving you mine
It doesn't have to end up wasting your time
There's things that I could say, but hear it my way
I want to let you know that it's all okay
So there you are, mistakenly mistaken for a deeper scar
A hole in your heart, ad the same for me
Is everything you touch keeping you down
Or setting you free
C
Shelter my eyes from the sun
And wait for the birds to fly by
Trying to reach every one
And know what you're feeling inside
Deep in my head now it's like a dream goodbye
C
Elizabeth Gillies- You Don't Know Me
You think you know me but you don't know me
You think you own me but you can't control me
You look at me and there's just one thing that you see
So listen to me, listen to me
C: You push me back, I push you back, harder, harder
You scream at me, I'll scream at you, louder, louder
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me
And I can't convince you, you don't know me
You think you got me but you don't get me
You think you want me but you don't know what you're getting into
There's so much more to me that what you think you see
So listen to me, just listen to me
C
And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting
And the pain, it feels okay, it feels okay... the pain...
You push me back, I push you back
You scream at me, I'll scream at you
Louder, louder, louder, louder, louder, louder
C
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me, and I can't convince you
And I don't have to
I think you know me
You think you own me but you can't control me
You look at me and there's just one thing that you see
So listen to me, listen to me
C: You push me back, I push you back, harder, harder
You scream at me, I'll scream at you, louder, louder
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me
And I can't convince you, you don't know me
You think you got me but you don't get me
You think you want me but you don't know what you're getting into
There's so much more to me that what you think you see
So listen to me, just listen to me
C
And the longer that you stay, the ice is melting
And the pain, it feels okay, it feels okay... the pain...
You push me back, I push you back
You scream at me, I'll scream at you
Louder, louder, louder, louder, louder, louder
C
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me, and I can't convince you
And I don't have to
I think you know me
Your existence gives me hope
So it's official. He likes me! Yay! And then not yay because relationships are hard work, and once I leave for NY this summer to visit my dad I don't stay in contact that much except for like, my mom and best friend and now I guess he's on that list to keep in contact with. I do like him though. I wish he hadn't gone to Memphis at the last second so we could've gone to the movies but whatever you know? Next time I guess.
I wish I could talk to him about Chelsea but I can't yet. Besides, I have enough support from my friends, who really are the best people ever.
I wish I could talk to him about Chelsea but I can't yet. Besides, I have enough support from my friends, who really are the best people ever.
My baby
So my cousin, who's sick? Yeah. Turns out she's really sick. Lymphoma. It's blood cancer. I wish I was there for her. You know, physically? I want to be by her bed and sing to The Beatles with her. I just have to wait for the summer to come so I can talk to her again. And make sure she's okay.
They say it's really treatable. And that a lot of kids her age get it and survive. She must be so scared. I'm so scared. She's in phase 1 of chemo therapy. I swear, she'll still be prettier than me without her hair. That's the first thing I'm going to say to her when I see her. Hopefully it'll make her smile. Maybe not. Hopefully.
God, this sucks.
They say it's really treatable. And that a lot of kids her age get it and survive. She must be so scared. I'm so scared. She's in phase 1 of chemo therapy. I swear, she'll still be prettier than me without her hair. That's the first thing I'm going to say to her when I see her. Hopefully it'll make her smile. Maybe not. Hopefully.
God, this sucks.
Paolo Nutini- New Shoes
Woke up cold one Tuesday, I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life
So I quickly opened the wardrobe, pulled out some jeans and a T-shirt that seemed clean
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes, that were ripped around the seams
And I thought, these shoes just don't suit me
C: Hey, I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything is right
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling, it's so inviting
Oh, short on money, but long on time, slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And I'm running late, and I don't need an excuse, 'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes
Woke up late one Thursday, and I'm seeing starts as I'm rubbing my eyes
And I felt like there were two days missing, as I focused on the time
And I made my way to the kitchen, but I had to stop from the shock of what I found
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round
And I thought, hello, new shoes, bye bye them blues
CC
Take me wandering through these streets
Where bright lights and angels meet
Stone to stone they take me on
I'm walking until the break of dawn
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life
So I quickly opened the wardrobe, pulled out some jeans and a T-shirt that seemed clean
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes, that were ripped around the seams
And I thought, these shoes just don't suit me
C: Hey, I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything is right
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling, it's so inviting
Oh, short on money, but long on time, slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And I'm running late, and I don't need an excuse, 'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes
Woke up late one Thursday, and I'm seeing starts as I'm rubbing my eyes
And I felt like there were two days missing, as I focused on the time
And I made my way to the kitchen, but I had to stop from the shock of what I found
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round
And I thought, hello, new shoes, bye bye them blues
CC
Take me wandering through these streets
Where bright lights and angels meet
Stone to stone they take me on
I'm walking until the break of dawn
Hootie & the Blowfish- I hope I don't fall in love with you
Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you, 'cause falling in love just makes me blue
Well, the music plays and you display your heart for me to see
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
Well the room is crowded, people everywhere, and I wonder should I offer you a chair?
Well, if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it
Before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
Well, the night does funny things inside a man, these old tomcat feelings you don't understand
Well, I turn around to look at you, you light a cigarette
I wish I had the guts to bum one, but we've never met
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
I can see that you are lonesome just like me, and it being late you'd like some company
Well, I turn around to look at you, you look back at me
The guy you're with has up and split, that chair next to you is free
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me
Now it's closing time, the music's fading out; last call for drinks, I'll have another stout
Well, I turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found
I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round
And I think I just fell in love with you
Well, the music plays and you display your heart for me to see
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
Well the room is crowded, people everywhere, and I wonder should I offer you a chair?
Well, if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it
Before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
Well, the night does funny things inside a man, these old tomcat feelings you don't understand
Well, I turn around to look at you, you light a cigarette
I wish I had the guts to bum one, but we've never met
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
I can see that you are lonesome just like me, and it being late you'd like some company
Well, I turn around to look at you, you look back at me
The guy you're with has up and split, that chair next to you is free
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me
Now it's closing time, the music's fading out; last call for drinks, I'll have another stout
Well, I turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found
I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round
And I think I just fell in love with you
Friday, May 16, 2014
Empire State of Mind- Jay-Z and Alicia Keys
yeah I'm out that Brooklyn now I'm down in Tribeca, right next to Deniro, but I'll be hood forever
I'm the new Sinatra, and since I made it here can make it anywhere, yeah they love me everywhere
I used to cop in Harlem, all of my Dominicano'
Right there up on Broadway, pull me back to that McDonald's
Took it to my stash-box, 560 State St., catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons with them Pastries
Cruisin' down 8th St., off white Lexus, driving so slow, but BK is from Texas
Me, I'm out that Best Buy, home of that boy Biggie
Now I live on Billboard and I brought my boys with me
say what's up to Ty-Ty, still sippin' mai tai's, sittin' courside, Knicks and Nets give my a high five
Hey I be spiked out, I could trip a referee, tell my my attitude that I'm most definitely from
C: New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, theres nothing you can't do
Now you're in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York
Catch me at the X with OG at a Yankee game
Hey I made the Yankee hat more famous that a Yankee can
You should know I bleed blue, but I ain't a crip though
But I got a gang a people walking with my clique though
Welcome to the melting pot, corners where we sellin' pot, Africa Bambatta stuff, home of the hip-hop
Yellow cap, gypsy cap, dollar cab, holla back
For foreigners it ain't pretty act like they forgot how to act
8 million stories, out there in it naked, city is a pity of of you won't make it
Me, I got a plug, Special Ed "I Got it Made",if Jesus payin' LeBron, I'm payin' Dwyane Wade
three dice Cee-lo, three Card Marley, labor day parade, rest in peace Bob Marley
Statue of Liberty, long live the World Trade, long live the King yo, I'm from Empire state that's
C
Lights is blinding, girls need blinders, so they can step out of bounds quick the sidelines is
Lined with casualties, who sip to life casually, then gradually become worse
Don't bit the apple, Eve
Caught up in the in-crowd, now you're in style
And when the winter gets cold, in Vogue with your skin out
City of sin, it's a pity on a whim, good girls gone bad, the city's filled with them
Mommy took a bus trip, now she got her bust out, everybody rides her, just like a bus route
Hail Mary to the city, you're a virgin and Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church end
Came here for school, graduated to the high life, ball players, rap starts, addicted to the limelight
MDMA got you feelin' like a champion, the city never sleeps, better slip you an Ambien
C
One hand in the air for the big city
Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty
No place in the world that could compare
Put your lighters in the air everybody say
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah
I'm the new Sinatra, and since I made it here can make it anywhere, yeah they love me everywhere
I used to cop in Harlem, all of my Dominicano'
Right there up on Broadway, pull me back to that McDonald's
Took it to my stash-box, 560 State St., catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons with them Pastries
Cruisin' down 8th St., off white Lexus, driving so slow, but BK is from Texas
Me, I'm out that Best Buy, home of that boy Biggie
Now I live on Billboard and I brought my boys with me
say what's up to Ty-Ty, still sippin' mai tai's, sittin' courside, Knicks and Nets give my a high five
Hey I be spiked out, I could trip a referee, tell my my attitude that I'm most definitely from
C: New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, theres nothing you can't do
Now you're in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York
Catch me at the X with OG at a Yankee game
Hey I made the Yankee hat more famous that a Yankee can
You should know I bleed blue, but I ain't a crip though
But I got a gang a people walking with my clique though
Welcome to the melting pot, corners where we sellin' pot, Africa Bambatta stuff, home of the hip-hop
Yellow cap, gypsy cap, dollar cab, holla back
For foreigners it ain't pretty act like they forgot how to act
8 million stories, out there in it naked, city is a pity of of you won't make it
Me, I got a plug, Special Ed "I Got it Made",if Jesus payin' LeBron, I'm payin' Dwyane Wade
three dice Cee-lo, three Card Marley, labor day parade, rest in peace Bob Marley
Statue of Liberty, long live the World Trade, long live the King yo, I'm from Empire state that's
C
Lights is blinding, girls need blinders, so they can step out of bounds quick the sidelines is
Lined with casualties, who sip to life casually, then gradually become worse
Don't bit the apple, Eve
Caught up in the in-crowd, now you're in style
And when the winter gets cold, in Vogue with your skin out
City of sin, it's a pity on a whim, good girls gone bad, the city's filled with them
Mommy took a bus trip, now she got her bust out, everybody rides her, just like a bus route
Hail Mary to the city, you're a virgin and Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church end
Came here for school, graduated to the high life, ball players, rap starts, addicted to the limelight
MDMA got you feelin' like a champion, the city never sleeps, better slip you an Ambien
C
One hand in the air for the big city
Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty
No place in the world that could compare
Put your lighters in the air everybody say
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Mixed breed
Okay guys, so my friend is supporting the LGBT community online. Which, if you haven't tried, is next to impossible. So this one guy said she was a nigger and that the messiah was coming and he would especially kill her and anyone associated with her because she's a fag lover and I just...
I may not be totally Christian right at this moment, but I know enough to know that God doesn't want people to judge and that love is key. So that comment really got to me. Especially the nigger part. I'm sorry I have to put these words on here.
Mostly because of the fact that I'm mixed. Black and White. Honestly I'm living proof that this racism thing is ridiculous. I'm not a spawn of Satan. I'm a spawn of a museum education director and cat-scan tech.
One time my friend called me a mixed breed. Yeah, I know. It's not a good term to use, ever. I don't care if you're joking. It's hateful.
Now this guy is blaming gays for 9/11 and hurricanes. Ugh, I need a nap.
I may not be totally Christian right at this moment, but I know enough to know that God doesn't want people to judge and that love is key. So that comment really got to me. Especially the nigger part. I'm sorry I have to put these words on here.
Mostly because of the fact that I'm mixed. Black and White. Honestly I'm living proof that this racism thing is ridiculous. I'm not a spawn of Satan. I'm a spawn of a museum education director and cat-scan tech.
One time my friend called me a mixed breed. Yeah, I know. It's not a good term to use, ever. I don't care if you're joking. It's hateful.
Now this guy is blaming gays for 9/11 and hurricanes. Ugh, I need a nap.
Cher- Half-breed
My father married a pure Cherokee
My mother's people were ashamed of me
The Indians said I was white by law
The White Man always called me "Indian Squaw"
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born
We never settled, went from town to town
When you're not welcome you don't hang around
The other children always laughed at me
"Give her a feather, she's a Cherokee"
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born
We weren't accepted and I felt ashamed
Nineteen I left them tell me who's to blame
My life since then has been from man to man
But I can't run away from who I am
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born
My mother's people were ashamed of me
The Indians said I was white by law
The White Man always called me "Indian Squaw"
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born
We never settled, went from town to town
When you're not welcome you don't hang around
The other children always laughed at me
"Give her a feather, she's a Cherokee"
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born
We weren't accepted and I felt ashamed
Nineteen I left them tell me who's to blame
My life since then has been from man to man
But I can't run away from who I am
Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born
Then there's this whole religion thing
So I think it's great that I feel so close to God when I go to youth group. And the day after that. And maybe the day after that. But after that, I don't know. I forget to pray. I don't evaluate everything I do to make sure I'm not sinning. I just stop. I don't know if its me, or if I just wasn't meant to be a Christian, or what. Because there's all these other religions out there I've never experienced, like, what if I want to be enlightened? Or like the idea of fasting or the Mecca? Or what if I think twelve gods live up on a very climbable named Mount Olympus and no one ever bothered to check?
But then there's the fact that, excuse my cheesiness, I feel in my heart that there is a God. I just don't know if I want to worship him or not. Because what kind of God damns his creations to hell that he loves so much? I can't imagine that. And my immediate family, who are all Christians by the by, try to explain it to me, "God loves everyone but if we don't accept him into our hearts he can't admit us into heaven" and I'm like, "YES he can he can do anything why are you pretending this is not what he CHOOSES to do?" And they try to convince me I'm wrong and, hell, maybe I am but I cannot find the logic in that. Because excuse me, in the cases of the people I love, I'd rather damn myself to hell than to damn them. And I guess what's what Jesus did. But not really. Because he just gave us a CHANCE to un-damn ourselves, which is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. But do I really want to go to Heaven while my best friend doesn't because she's not Christian? She hasn't had the exposure I have. Or the experiences. And I'm not going to convert her or anything because, hey, I don't know WHAT them mess I am. But if she dies tomorrow, that's it? Bye bye? I hate that.
And then there's the whole thing of some Christians being really hateful. Like, excuse me sir, take down that sign and let those homosexuals be married. Why not instead go home and eat a cheeseburger, swimming in grease! Or the really loving ones, who seem really fake to me. Always smiling and having bake sales and are seriously always wearing a pastel-color dress like whats up with that? I know the Amish girls always have to wear dresses but what are you doing?
I don't know, anyone out there, please explain this to me because this is ridiculous on a number of levels.
But then there's the fact that, excuse my cheesiness, I feel in my heart that there is a God. I just don't know if I want to worship him or not. Because what kind of God damns his creations to hell that he loves so much? I can't imagine that. And my immediate family, who are all Christians by the by, try to explain it to me, "God loves everyone but if we don't accept him into our hearts he can't admit us into heaven" and I'm like, "YES he can he can do anything why are you pretending this is not what he CHOOSES to do?" And they try to convince me I'm wrong and, hell, maybe I am but I cannot find the logic in that. Because excuse me, in the cases of the people I love, I'd rather damn myself to hell than to damn them. And I guess what's what Jesus did. But not really. Because he just gave us a CHANCE to un-damn ourselves, which is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. But do I really want to go to Heaven while my best friend doesn't because she's not Christian? She hasn't had the exposure I have. Or the experiences. And I'm not going to convert her or anything because, hey, I don't know WHAT them mess I am. But if she dies tomorrow, that's it? Bye bye? I hate that.
And then there's the whole thing of some Christians being really hateful. Like, excuse me sir, take down that sign and let those homosexuals be married. Why not instead go home and eat a cheeseburger, swimming in grease! Or the really loving ones, who seem really fake to me. Always smiling and having bake sales and are seriously always wearing a pastel-color dress like whats up with that? I know the Amish girls always have to wear dresses but what are you doing?
I don't know, anyone out there, please explain this to me because this is ridiculous on a number of levels.
MIKA- Popular Song
You were the popular one, the popular chick, it is what it is now I'm popular-ish
Standing on the field with your pretty pompoms now you're working at the movies selling popular corn
I could've been a mess but I never went wrong now I'm putting down my story in a popular song
I said I'm putting down my story in a popular song
C: My problem, I never was a model, I never was a scholar
But you were always popular
You were singing all the songs I don't know, and now you're in the front row
'Cause my song is popular
Popular, I know about popular, it's not about who you are or your fancy car
You're only ever who you were
Popular, I know about popular, and all that you have to do is be true to you
That's all you ever need to know
So catch up, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go
So catch up, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go
Always on the lookout for someone to hate, picking on my like a dinner plate
You hid during classes and inbetween 'em, dunk me in the toilets now it's you that cleans them
Always make me feel bad with the things you do, it ain't so funny when the joke's on you
Oh, the joke's on you, got everyone laughing, got everyone clapping, asking
How come you look so cool? 'Cause that's the only thing that I learned at school
Boy, uh huh, I said that's the only thing that I learned at school
C
Standing on the field with your pretty pompoms now you're working at the movies selling popular corn
I could've been a mess but I never went wrong now I'm putting down my story in a popular song
I said I'm putting down my story in a popular song
C: My problem, I never was a model, I never was a scholar
But you were always popular
You were singing all the songs I don't know, and now you're in the front row
'Cause my song is popular
Popular, I know about popular, it's not about who you are or your fancy car
You're only ever who you were
Popular, I know about popular, and all that you have to do is be true to you
That's all you ever need to know
So catch up, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go
So catch up, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go
Always on the lookout for someone to hate, picking on my like a dinner plate
You hid during classes and inbetween 'em, dunk me in the toilets now it's you that cleans them
Always make me feel bad with the things you do, it ain't so funny when the joke's on you
Oh, the joke's on you, got everyone laughing, got everyone clapping, asking
How come you look so cool? 'Cause that's the only thing that I learned at school
Boy, uh huh, I said that's the only thing that I learned at school
C
Matchbox 20- Let's see how far we've come
I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world
But it's feeling just like every other morning before
Now I wonder what my life is gonna mean if it's gone
The cars are moving like half a mile an hour and
I started staring at the passengers and waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was every really special about me all this time?
C: Well, I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come, let's see how far we've come
Well, I believe it's all coming to an end
Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend
Let's see how far we've come, let's see how far we've come
I think it turned ten o'clock, but I don't really know an
I can't remember caring for an hour or so
I started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I starting running but there's nowhere to run to
I sat down on the street and took a look at myself
Say where you going man, you know the world is headed or hell
Say your goodbyes if you've got someone to say goodbye to
C
It's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There's no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well, and it's all cool, cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you
Well, it's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There's no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well, and it's cool, cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you
C
But it's feeling just like every other morning before
Now I wonder what my life is gonna mean if it's gone
The cars are moving like half a mile an hour and
I started staring at the passengers and waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was every really special about me all this time?
C: Well, I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come, let's see how far we've come
Well, I believe it's all coming to an end
Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend
Let's see how far we've come, let's see how far we've come
I think it turned ten o'clock, but I don't really know an
I can't remember caring for an hour or so
I started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I starting running but there's nowhere to run to
I sat down on the street and took a look at myself
Say where you going man, you know the world is headed or hell
Say your goodbyes if you've got someone to say goodbye to
C
It's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There's no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well, and it's all cool, cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you
Well, it's gone, gone, baby, it's all gone
There's no one on the corner and there's no one at home
Well, and it's cool, cool, it was just all cool
Now it's over for me and it's over for you
C
One Direction- The Story of my Life
Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days
She told me in the morning she doesn't feel the same about us in her bones
It seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone
And I'll be gone, gone tonight, the ground beneath my feet is open wide
The way that I've been holding on too tight with nothing in between
The story of my life I take her home
I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen
The story of my life I giver her hope
I spend her love until she's broke inside, the story of my life
Written on these walls are the colors that I can't change
Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage
I know that in the morning I'll see us in the light upon the pier
Although I'm broken my heart is untamed still
And I'll be gone, gone tonight, the fire beneath my feet is burning bright
The way that I've been holding on so tight with nothing inbetween
C
And I've been waiting for this time to come around
But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds
C
The story of my life
P.S. Don't get me wrong I usually don't listen to One Direction but hey, I know a good song when I hear one.
I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days
She told me in the morning she doesn't feel the same about us in her bones
It seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone
And I'll be gone, gone tonight, the ground beneath my feet is open wide
The way that I've been holding on too tight with nothing in between
The story of my life I take her home
I drive all night to keep her warm and time is frozen
The story of my life I giver her hope
I spend her love until she's broke inside, the story of my life
Written on these walls are the colors that I can't change
Leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage
I know that in the morning I'll see us in the light upon the pier
Although I'm broken my heart is untamed still
And I'll be gone, gone tonight, the fire beneath my feet is burning bright
The way that I've been holding on so tight with nothing inbetween
C
And I've been waiting for this time to come around
But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds
C
The story of my life
P.S. Don't get me wrong I usually don't listen to One Direction but hey, I know a good song when I hear one.
I go to seek a great perhaps
Sometimes, you read a book & it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless & until all living humans read the book.
- You like someone who can't like like you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way that once-requited love cannot
- There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers for Augustus Waters and he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.
- Why is being a nerd bad? Saying, "I noticed you're a nerd" is like saying, "Hey, I noticed that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid. That you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid. That you believe there are more things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan." Why is that?
- That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.
- Something about me has always like the drama and inconvenience of bad weather. The worse the better really.
- As long as we don't die, this is going to be a hell of a story.
- Maybe the strings inside him broke.
- If people we rain, I would be a drizzle and she would be a hurricane.
- I fear oblivion
- Nerds like us, are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. Nerds are allowed to lovve stuff, like, jump-up-and-down-in-your-chair-can't-control-yourself love it. When people call you nerds, mostly what they're saying is "You like stuff" Which is not a good insult at all. Like, "You too are enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness."
- My thoughts are starts I can fathom into constellations.
- Truth defies simplicity
John Green quotes
Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles
Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making my way through the crowd
And I need you, and I miss you, and now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
It's times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong living in your precious memory
C
And I, I don't want to let you go
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't want to let this go
I don't
Making my way downtown walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead just making my way, making my way through the crowd
And I still need you, and I still miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky do you think time would pass us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you
C
If I could fall into the night do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could see you
If I could hold you
Tonight
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making my way through the crowd
And I need you, and I miss you, and now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
It's times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong living in your precious memory
C
And I, I don't want to let you go
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't want to let this go
I don't
Making my way downtown walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead just making my way, making my way through the crowd
And I still need you, and I still miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky do you think time would pass us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you
C
If I could fall into the night do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could see you
If I could hold you
Tonight
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Ed Sheeran- Lego House
I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build a lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down
My three words have two meanings, but there's one thing on my mind
It's all for you
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you, and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'd love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'd love you better now
I'm gonna paint you by numbers, and color you in
If things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall
And it's so hard to say it but I've been hurt before
Now I'll surrender up my heart, and swap it for yours
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'd love you better now
Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking, and it's more than I can take
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you, and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
If things go wrong we can knock it down
My three words have two meanings, but there's one thing on my mind
It's all for you
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you, and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'd love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'd love you better now
I'm gonna paint you by numbers, and color you in
If things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall
And it's so hard to say it but I've been hurt before
Now I'll surrender up my heart, and swap it for yours
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'd love you better now
Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking, and it's more than I can take
And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you, and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done, I think I'll love you better now
-Dedicated to my Chelsea
I'm scared
So I've been really worried the past few days. My cousin, Chels is in the hospital. She is THE cousin, you know? I spend every summer with her and her sister Syd and her brother Oshen, and we go to Martha's Vineyard and have sleepovers and all that stuff. We were supposed to go to Florida this year and she'd help me through the roller coasters. And when I go to visit my dad the first thing I ask is, "Am I gonna see Sydney and Chelsea while I'm here?" And we make it a priority even if it's just for a few hours.
And now she has a tumor. And fluid around her heart. And I'm the only non-adult person who knows about it and it's terrible. I've always joked because she fails gym I just thought she was being lazy but she was in pain and I didn't know and she's in Pennsylvania and I can't go visit her and I really want to. She had her biopsy yesterday and we haven't gotten the results back yet and I'm scared. And no one knows and it's killing me. But none of my friends know her so it's futile to tell them but every time someone makes a cancer joke that I hear I just want to start crying. I keep praying that she's okay and we talk on Facebook and she makes her cute little jokes and I know she's scared and this should not be happening she's only sixteen.
So I guess it's good I have my God back because all I've been doing is praying.
And now she has a tumor. And fluid around her heart. And I'm the only non-adult person who knows about it and it's terrible. I've always joked because she fails gym I just thought she was being lazy but she was in pain and I didn't know and she's in Pennsylvania and I can't go visit her and I really want to. She had her biopsy yesterday and we haven't gotten the results back yet and I'm scared. And no one knows and it's killing me. But none of my friends know her so it's futile to tell them but every time someone makes a cancer joke that I hear I just want to start crying. I keep praying that she's okay and we talk on Facebook and she makes her cute little jokes and I know she's scared and this should not be happening she's only sixteen.
So I guess it's good I have my God back because all I've been doing is praying.
Ross Lynch- Not a Love Song
You're always on my mind, I think about you all the time
Um... no
Let's not talk about it, drama; we can live without it
Catch a wave when we're bored, there's a clock we'll ignore
Find a way around it
Hey, girl, I can tell there's something even when you say it's nothing
When you're playing with your hair like you just don't care
It's a tell you're bluffing
Now please don't take this the wrong way?
C: I love the things you do it's how you do the things you love
But it's not a love song, not a love song
I love the way you get me but correct me if I'm wrong
This is not a love song, not a love son
I love that you buy the tickets, and you don't make me watch a chick flick
We've come so far being just the way we are if it's not broken don't fix it
I can't guess the meaning when you don't say what you're feeling
If you've got a broken heart, you can punch me in the arm
Now that's what you're needing
Please don't take this the wrong way
C
I don't speak girl, "Like, hey girl!", I don't quite understand a manicure
But you're the only friend I'd take a shower for (and I really would)
And I would hold your bags when you go shopping, what a guy!
I love the things you do it's how you do the things you love
The way you say it, put me through it, I guess I always knew it
C
Um... no
Let's not talk about it, drama; we can live without it
Catch a wave when we're bored, there's a clock we'll ignore
Find a way around it
Hey, girl, I can tell there's something even when you say it's nothing
When you're playing with your hair like you just don't care
It's a tell you're bluffing
Now please don't take this the wrong way?
C: I love the things you do it's how you do the things you love
But it's not a love song, not a love song
I love the way you get me but correct me if I'm wrong
This is not a love song, not a love son
I love that you buy the tickets, and you don't make me watch a chick flick
We've come so far being just the way we are if it's not broken don't fix it
I can't guess the meaning when you don't say what you're feeling
If you've got a broken heart, you can punch me in the arm
Now that's what you're needing
Please don't take this the wrong way
C
I don't speak girl, "Like, hey girl!", I don't quite understand a manicure
But you're the only friend I'd take a shower for (and I really would)
And I would hold your bags when you go shopping, what a guy!
I love the things you do it's how you do the things you love
The way you say it, put me through it, I guess I always knew it
C
Monday, May 12, 2014
Arctic Monkeys- Do I wanna know
Have you got color in your cheeks?
Do you ever get the fear that you can't shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you're in deep? I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep, spilling drinks on my settee
C: Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?
Sad to see you go, I was sort of hoping that you'd stay
Baby, we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?
'Cause I always do
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new, now I've thought it through
Crawling back to you
So have you got the guts?
Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts
Simmer down and pucker up
I'm sorry to interrupt, it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you
I don't know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to
C
Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?
Sad to see you go, was kinda hoping that you'd stay
Baby, we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you
Do you ever get the fear that you can't shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you're in deep? I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep, spilling drinks on my settee
C: Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?
Sad to see you go, I was sort of hoping that you'd stay
Baby, we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?
'Cause I always do
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new, now I've thought it through
Crawling back to you
So have you got the guts?
Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts
Simmer down and pucker up
I'm sorry to interrupt, it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you
I don't know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to
C
Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?
Sad to see you go, was kinda hoping that you'd stay
Baby, we both know that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you
Ed Sheeran- I see fire
Oh, misty eye of the mountain below
Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke
Keep watching over Durin's sons
If this is to end in fire, then we should all burn together
Watch the flames climb high into the night
Calling out farther, oh, stand by and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside high
And if we should die tonight, then we should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time
Calling out farther, oh, prepare as we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side high
Desolation comes upon the sky
C: Now I see fire, inside the mountain
I see fire, burning the trees
And I see fire, howling souls
I see fire, blood in the breeze
And I hope that you remember me
Oh, should my people fall then surely I'll do the same
Confined in mountain halls we got too close to the flame
Calling out farther, oh, hold fast and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside
Desolation comes upon the sky
C
And I hope that you remember me
And if the night is burning I will cover my eyes
For if the dark returns then my brothers will die
And as the sky is falling down it crashed into this lonely town
And with that shadow upon the ground I hear my people screaming out
C
I see fire (oh you know I saw a city burning)
And I see fire (feel the heat upon my skin, yeah)
And I see fire (Ooh, ooh, oooh)
And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side
Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke
Keep watching over Durin's sons
If this is to end in fire, then we should all burn together
Watch the flames climb high into the night
Calling out farther, oh, stand by and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside high
And if we should die tonight, then we should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time
Calling out farther, oh, prepare as we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side high
Desolation comes upon the sky
C: Now I see fire, inside the mountain
I see fire, burning the trees
And I see fire, howling souls
I see fire, blood in the breeze
And I hope that you remember me
Oh, should my people fall then surely I'll do the same
Confined in mountain halls we got too close to the flame
Calling out farther, oh, hold fast and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountainside
Desolation comes upon the sky
C
And I hope that you remember me
And if the night is burning I will cover my eyes
For if the dark returns then my brothers will die
And as the sky is falling down it crashed into this lonely town
And with that shadow upon the ground I hear my people screaming out
C
I see fire (oh you know I saw a city burning)
And I see fire (feel the heat upon my skin, yeah)
And I see fire (Ooh, ooh, oooh)
And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side
Hey guys
Okay so in World History today my teacher was like, we're going to have a free day and watch a movie because I want you guys to relax before the AP exam. Then she freaking puts on Hotel Rwanda which, by the by, is not relaxing at all but is in fact about war and genocide and a bunch of terrible stuff. It's bad. It makes me sad. The fact that it happened in real life makes it worse. We should be watching Pocahontas!!!!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Hillsong- Forever Reign
You are good, You are good When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love On display for all to see
You are light, You are light When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope You have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life In You death has lost it's sting
Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
You are more, You are more Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God Of all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
My heart will sing no other name
Jesus, Jesus
My heart will sing no other name
Jesus, Jesus
You are love, You are love On display for all to see
You are light, You are light When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope You have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life In You death has lost it's sting
Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
You are more, You are more Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God Of all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
My heart will sing no other name
Jesus, Jesus
My heart will sing no other name
Jesus, Jesus
Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
To: Anyone who reads this
I'm not trying to convert you or anything. Goodness, can you imagine? But I do want to say some things I've been afraid to tell anyone for a long time.
I hated myself. My face, my voice, my body, my mind. Everything. Because I thought I was a terrible person. I actually thought I drove someone to try to commit suicide. Let me explain some things. I'm the youngest child. I'm so used to getting what I want. Including my friends. Or at least I was. So sure, I felt a little bad about ripping her best friend in half between best friends. But hey, that's life. Right? I thought so. I wanted a friend and she was standing in my way. I didn't do anything BAD. I just pulled. Nothing extreme.
And then that stupid call in the middle of the night. I felt the retribution of my actions. So for the past year( it happened on April 25th) I've thought that I was the(for lack of a better word)B**** that made that girl, my ex best friend, want to end her life.
So I hated myself. I was such a *insert previous word here* And I stopped my search for religion. And I stopped wanting to be happy. And I started wanting to kill myself.
And then, a little more than a week ago, I heard this amazing story from an amazing girl who is now in the Top 5 of my best friend list. And she opened my eyes. Her name is Patricia-Faith.
And two days ago, I went back to her church, and I'll put the song on here in a minute. But everything I was feeling was just lifted off my chest. And I told her EVERYTHING. And I hate crying in front of people but geez, I needed it.
And I know it won't be easy. I've lived out of the light for so long its a wonder I found myself back. But Lord, thank you so much. I'm finally free.
I hated myself. My face, my voice, my body, my mind. Everything. Because I thought I was a terrible person. I actually thought I drove someone to try to commit suicide. Let me explain some things. I'm the youngest child. I'm so used to getting what I want. Including my friends. Or at least I was. So sure, I felt a little bad about ripping her best friend in half between best friends. But hey, that's life. Right? I thought so. I wanted a friend and she was standing in my way. I didn't do anything BAD. I just pulled. Nothing extreme.
And then that stupid call in the middle of the night. I felt the retribution of my actions. So for the past year( it happened on April 25th) I've thought that I was the(for lack of a better word)
So I hated myself. I was such a *insert previous word here* And I stopped my search for religion. And I stopped wanting to be happy. And I started wanting to kill myself.
And then, a little more than a week ago, I heard this amazing story from an amazing girl who is now in the Top 5 of my best friend list. And she opened my eyes. Her name is Patricia-Faith.
And two days ago, I went back to her church, and I'll put the song on here in a minute. But everything I was feeling was just lifted off my chest. And I told her EVERYTHING. And I hate crying in front of people but geez, I needed it.
And I know it won't be easy. I've lived out of the light for so long its a wonder I found myself back. But Lord, thank you so much. I'm finally free.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Forgiven- Sanctus Real
Well the past is playing with my head, and failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong that I have said and done
That devil just won't let me forget
In this life, I know what I've been
But here in your arms, I know what I am
I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
My mistakes are running through my mind
And I relive my days in the middle of the night
I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone and I cry
In this life, I know what I've been
But here in your arms, I know what I am
I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
When I don't fit it and I don't feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ
I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven!
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
I'm reminded of the wrong that I have said and done
That devil just won't let me forget
In this life, I know what I've been
But here in your arms, I know what I am
I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
My mistakes are running through my mind
And I relive my days in the middle of the night
I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone and I cry
In this life, I know what I've been
But here in your arms, I know what I am
I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
When I don't fit it and I don't feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ
I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven!
And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been
'Cause I'm forgiven
Dear Heart- Sanctus Real
Dear Heart, do you belong to me? Or do I belong to you?
Just look at all the trouble you drag me into
I've heard it said to follow your heart
But I'm starting to wonder if it's gone too far
Oh Heart, you've let me down
Chasing love where it can't be found
And Heart, we've fallen out, 'cause all your emotions
Have lead me to doubt
Tell me who's gonna save us now?
Dear Heart, you're in the wrong place
Looking out for yourself no matter what I say
And Heart, you're holding me back, and it's time for a change
So I'm giving you away
Oh Heart, you've let me down
Chasing love where it can't be found
And Heart, we've fallen out, 'cause all your emotions
Have lead me to doubt
Tell me who's gonna save us now?
Heart, you've let me down
Chasing love where it can't be found
And Heart, we've fallen out, 'cause all your emotions
Have lead me do doubt
Only Jesus can save us now
Just look at all the trouble you drag me into
I've heard it said to follow your heart
But I'm starting to wonder if it's gone too far
Oh Heart, you've let me down
Chasing love where it can't be found
And Heart, we've fallen out, 'cause all your emotions
Have lead me to doubt
Tell me who's gonna save us now?
Dear Heart, you're in the wrong place
Looking out for yourself no matter what I say
And Heart, you're holding me back, and it's time for a change
So I'm giving you away
Oh Heart, you've let me down
Chasing love where it can't be found
And Heart, we've fallen out, 'cause all your emotions
Have lead me to doubt
Tell me who's gonna save us now?
Heart, you've let me down
Chasing love where it can't be found
And Heart, we've fallen out, 'cause all your emotions
Have lead me do doubt
Only Jesus can save us now
Best feelings in the world
- Sleeping in late
- Having no homework
- Hugs that last for more than a minute
- Getting that smile from someone special
- Laughing until you cry/your stomach hurts
- Getting an A on a test you didn't study for
- Packing for a holiday
- Being called beautiful/handsome
- Finally eating the food you were craving
- Waking up and realizing you have hours left to sleep
- Finding out the name of the song that was stuck in your head
- Perfectly peeling off a sticker
- Realizing it's Friday
- Falling asleep to the rain
- Making new friends
- Proving a smart person wrong
- Winning an argument
Even though
- He should have been up on that stage to receive that award I never could have gotten
- And is top of his class and mine
- And understands things that are beyond my comprehension
- And could fit in with anyone he wants to
He still wants to talk to me!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Guys, guys, GUYS
Really quick I just want to say that I'm really glad I met a lot of people in my life. And if they ever read this, I pray to gosh they know that it's them. Because they've helped me so much and have made me so happy and that's good. So good. I haven't been suicidal in the past few days and it feels AWESOME.
Honestly, and Truly, I love you. You know who you are.
Honestly, and Truly, I love you. You know who you are.
Your existence gives me hope
Okay dorks, here we go. So you know my over-analyzing problem? Yes? Okay so today he sat next to me in World History and usually he doesn't. My friend sits between us. It's nice, you know, we hang, chat, all that jazz. And today we didn't and I don't know it was nice. We weren't flirting or anything but we compared answers and talked about stuff and it was fun.
At one point we were talking and he said he wished he could control people, like what they do and stuff. Then he asked me what I'd do if I could control people. And naturally, my brain went, "Throw them all off a bridge." And apparently I had said it OUT LOUD. So I had to roll with it. But he was like, who would you save? And I looked at him and went, "Save?" But he thought it was funny so... yeah. Good times.
I also might have hinted at the fact that I don't like him. At all. And that when my friend shipped us together I drew a picture of a ship crashing into an iceberg... I can't seem to turn this mean gene off.
At one point we were talking and he said he wished he could control people, like what they do and stuff. Then he asked me what I'd do if I could control people. And naturally, my brain went, "Throw them all off a bridge." And apparently I had said it OUT LOUD. So I had to roll with it. But he was like, who would you save? And I looked at him and went, "Save?" But he thought it was funny so... yeah. Good times.
I also might have hinted at the fact that I don't like him. At all. And that when my friend shipped us together I drew a picture of a ship crashing into an iceberg... I can't seem to turn this mean gene off.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Hella Cute Questions
- What's the color of your eyes?
- Hazel
- Describe your favorite blanket
- Had it since I was 1, soft because its been washed so many times, the yellow and pink and blue have been faded for the same reason, frayed edges
- Tell us about the first time you realized you liked someone
- I looked at them, they looked at me and smiled and I thought, "I'd be the happiest person alive if they told me that they always want to be next to me."
- Do you like coffee or hot chocolate?
- Hot chocolate
- Something you've always wanted to do with your hair
- Dye it some random color that actually looks good with my skin tone. Or grow it long and healthy enough to put in a long braid
- What's something that makes you smile?
- Someone hugging me because they want to, not just to be nice
- Do you like sweets? Your favorite?
- Obviously, I LOVE donuts, any kind
- Something you cannot live without
- Oxygen?
- What's a gift you'll never forget?
- Blue Man Group concert tickets
- What's a pet name you've always wanted to have?
- Belle
You feel me?
Okay so how come once I start liking one guy, the old one starts acting interested?
Man screw you guys, I hate high school
Man screw you guys, I hate high school
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Triangle
I saw you at the picture show just the other day
But I was with my other love so I looked the other way
I couldn't bear to hurt you, I didn't want you to see
The way that I would look at him and the way you'd look at me
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la triangle
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la triangle
What'll I do about you?
But I was with my other love so I looked the other way
I couldn't bear to hurt you, I didn't want you to see
The way that I would look at him and the way you'd look at me
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la triangle
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la triangle
What'll I do about you?
Friday, May 2, 2014
Crash Test Dummies- Superman's song
Tarzan wasn't a ladies man, he'd just come along and scoop 'em under his arm
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent, he would not be caught sitting around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing
Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him
Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job, even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead, their planet crumbled but Superman he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going
Tarzan was king of the jungle and lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words, "I Tarzan, You Jane"
Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes, I'll bet he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths 'till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent, he would not be caught sitting around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing
Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him
Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job, even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead, their planet crumbled but Superman he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going
Tarzan was king of the jungle and lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words, "I Tarzan, You Jane"
Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes, I'll bet he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths 'till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home
Thursday, May 1, 2014
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