Stepping in front of a car is like the weirdest thing ever. It's so selfish, like, if you're hit the person that was driving is going to be guilty forever but there's nothing you can do about it. My guy swerved and kept going. Maybe he thought I was just some idiot not paying attention.
Honestly I never wanted a boyfriend. It's fun to do all that relationship stuff, kissing and holding hands and dates. I just wanted someone I could be real with.
I was so used to keeping to myself and being afraid of my words and what they did to me, and my family. I wanted a hug from someone who I felt actually cared about me.
Now that it's over, I don't miss the cute stuff. I just miss looking at someone and being able to feel something. A person who wouldn't reprimand me for crying or showing anything but healthy social obedient behavior.
It never hurts seeing his pictures or face because I miss the relationship. It hurts because the one person I could open up to is the main person I have to hide from because he no longer has any commitment or requirement to stay with me.
I know it's pathetic, but I don't want another relationship with a boy or a girl.
I want someone to hold me while I cry.
