So theres this thing

This drifting thing I seem to be doing. And don't get me wrong, I love my friends but lately I've just been less interested in being around them. I love who they are, and their jokes, and everything. But I don't like who I am around them. Well, some of them.
Because I hate when my dad calls and he's like, I made a new Awkward Christian video check it out. I made them for you. And I'm just like, "My Christianity warranty expired about 9 months ago." Geez, I should've gotten the extended warranty. That's how they get 'cha. And then some of my friends make really good points about why they aren't a Christian. And then others make better points about why they are. And then I'm here like, "I don't know!" because I can't seem to stop cussing around some friends. And I like to cuss and make jokes and yeah if I find a quote that has a cuss in it I'll say it without a second thought and now I'm thinking and I hate the way it sounds.
I want someone to look at me and go, "Yeah, she's a Christian." But they don't. I cuss, I never invite anyone to my church, or talk about my church. And even when I support homosexuality I put down the Bible but I do believe in the Bible and I believe in sin. And I would never frick-frack before marriage or, you know, actually KILL someone. And there's other stuff too about how I love and have faith in Jesus but the idea of religion is not appealing to me.