1. I wanted to look into your eyes and kiss you. I was so adamant about applying your makeup so I could look into your eyes and smile without you asking why. I knew I could't kiss you, we can't do this like we did last time
2. I wanted self control. So I gave it to myself by insisting on applying my makeup though I wouldn't have minded going with just a broken porcelain face, because I knew I needed the extra punishment of smudging my makeup if I got too tempted
3. I wanted some kind of promise that no matter what happened we would still talk, still exist together somehow. I didn't get that. I guess I'm not gonna know why. If we can't be friends how are we supposed to be anything else?
I guess I'm glad I got my self control in order.
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